Wednesday, May 8, 2013

In The Stillness by Andrea Randall

There are those books that are good. You like them, you’re not regretful for the money you spent on them and you feel content about them. Give them their 3 or 3.5 stars and call it a day. But then that book is over, you never think about it again. Then there are the books you just don’t like at all so you either don’t take the time to review them or like some crazy people you shred the author and give a nasty, terrible review and go on and on about how bad the book was. (Not Me) I just don’t review books I don’t like.


THEN there are those books that blow your mind! Books that as you read the last line you’re breathless, you’re speechless and you walk away from the story changed forever. This doesn’t happen often for me but let me tell you, In the Stillness rocked me to my core!


Andrea Randall rummaged through my brain, comfortable positioned herself in my emotional psyche and took me on a journey that brought me to tears, evoked deeply rooted feelings and caused me to need many chapter breaks just to compose my thoughts in order to keep reading. I “felt” this book from page one all the way to the last line.


Let’s just begin with the synopsis shall we:


Natalie is a wife.
Natalie is a mother.
Natalie is a cutter.

Clawing at walls built by resentment, regret, and guilt, Natalie cuts as an escape from a life she never planned.

Staying present is only possible when you let go of the past. But, what if the past won't let go?



See, even the synopsis leaves you in a thought provoked state! The entire book is that way! When I say the ENTIRE book, I mean the entire fucking book! You don’t skim; you don’t miss a mother lovin word of this book because you’re scared you might miss something poignant or moving.


“Change never comes slowly, brewing on the horizon. It's always in a second. Balanced on the tip of a razor blade, in empty pill bottles, behind two pink lines, or learning that one of your children is slowly slipping into a world of silence.”


I LOVE the fact that Andrea Randall owns her writing voice in this novel. Not only that but she gives Natalie a voice that will echo in your mind for many, many days after you finish the book. Natalie is the most honest, real character that I think I’ve ever read. The realistic nature of this book took me over word by word. I love the brutal honesty that we saw in Natalie and how she so bravely owned her fears and feelings despite the guilt they brought upon her shoulders.


“Guilt is intense. Suffocating. A brick, tied quietly around your ankles while you sleep. You never fall slowly into guilt-you wake up with little time to take your last breath before being pulled under.”



I think that a book like this comes along so very little that when I read it I literally could not review it until now. If I had reviewed this book right after I finished it I would have come off as insane. I was a mess and totally could not put together a decent review that would do this piece of wonderful words it’s  proper justice!


This was a love story, yes. It was SOOO much more than that though. It was a life story more than anything else. The raw emotions and grit that you will find in the pages of this book will stay with you and I assure even if you hate the book it will change you in one way or another.


Grab a load of damn tissues, have your choice of alcohol nearby and hold the fuck on because you are in for the most intense emotional rollercoaster ride you’ve ever taken when you read this book!


Andrea Randall this book pissed me off, chewed me up, spit me out, ripped my heart out of my chest, stomped on it then step by step put me all back together. You’re bravery to write such a raw and controversial topic has me applauding you, cheering for you and loving you even more!



Buy it HERE on Amazon

Wednesday, May 1, 2013

1000 Likes Giveaway

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Music on My Mind

I'm a self-proclaimed YouTube addict and everytime I get on there I end up finding a new acoustic cover that I fall in love with. This is one of my favorite finds while perusing YouTube:)

This is also one of my most favorite songs ever!

Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Poetry Contest Winners

The following are the winners of the poetry contest for "Jessica's Journal".


Laura Hildago


Jocelyn Sanchez

Carmen Lake Stone

Denise Dunnahoo

The poems will not be released until the publication of the book.

I will be in touch with each of you soon. Each one of you will have your poem published in the book of poetry titled, "Jessica's Journal". The winner will also receive a t-shirt from Tito Ortiz and a free signed paperback of Therapy and Jessica's Journal. Runners-Up will receive signed paperbacks of Jessica's Journal when it releases. You will all be given full credit for your poems within the copyright page of the book as well.

Congratulations and thank you for your beautiful words!

I would also like to thank all of the other entries. I loved all of the poems and it was very difficult to make a decision.

Monday, April 1, 2013

Jessica's Journal Poetry Contest

Write a poem about one of the following:

Mental Illness
Love Lost
Self-Harm (Cutting)
Overcoming Bullying
Therapy or Counseling
or a combination of any of the above....

Keep in mind that Jessica is bullied in high school by a mean girl group. She deals with depression, she is a cutter, she has no friends and escapes through her poetry.

Please submit all poems to This contest will close on April 28th.

Winner will have their poem included in the published companion to THERAPY, will receive both paperbacks signed and will receive a free Punishment Athletics T-Shirt from UFC Hall of Fame Fighter Tito Ortiz!

GOOD LUCK!!!!!!!!!!


Thursday, March 28, 2013

Haven From The Storm Review & Giveaway

"Keep in mind that even those who love you can unknowningly inflict pain when they themselves are hurting.” 

Most were asleep in their beds the night Lily Grace’s entire world was ripped apart, leaving only darkness and torment in its place. The only remaining person she depended on abandoned her without a second thought…or so that’s what Lily has believed for the past four years.
Dean Haven has returned for one reason—to win Lily’s love again. He’s already broken her heart because of the demons that haunt him. Can his desire for Lily keep him from succumbing to those demons again?
Dean has no idea what awaits him when he tries to fight his way back into Lily’s life. Everything he remembers has changed, including Lily.
Is love enough when you’re forced to weather the storms life has blown your way?

Lily is lost, alone and the one person she needed most left her at a very troublesome time. Dean Haven... oh Dean, Dean, Dean... After being away for 4 years he returns. But during those years Lily had to face an abusive father and she's not the same girl he left behind.

Trust has been lost and connections broken. Can they reconnect? Possibly find love again? That is the journey Mrs. Dosher takes us on. A journey of redemption, self-discovery and most of all forgiveness all wrapped up in a romantical love story.

We also walk in the shoes of a girl that deals with an abusive father. Her courage and determination to go on will move you and the pain she feels will sadden you. Lily's strength was wonderfully written by the author and I love strong female characters. So I was very pleased to see Lily be one of those great female characters that make me feel empowered as a woman. I rallied for Lily and when Dean was doing his best to help her I cheered him on. The author did a great job at balancing the darker subject matter with a lighter feel as well.

Dean Haven....... SWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON worthy Dean Haven! That's all I will say about him. You'll have to read for yourself to see what I mean.

The secondary characters were also very well developed and brought a great deal to the story. I think anyone who loves a good book that has both elements of reality and fantasy would enjoy Haven From The Storm! This is definitely an author to keep an eye on!

Purchase your copy by clicking HERE
Like Sarah Dosher on FB HERE
Follow Sarah Dosher on Twitter HERE
Check out her website HERE
And don't forget to enter the AMAZEBALLS giveaway below...


a Rafflecopter giveaway

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Back To Empty

Back to empty
Here's my cup
Fill it on up
Runneth it over
Just pour me something stronger than me
Don't want to feel this way any longer
Drown the me I can't allow anyone to see
Force it down
Swallow it all
Just pour me something stronger than me
It was enough
Once I could see
Carried to me
On waves
Of a cobalt blue sea
I exhaled
I saw
I felt
To me
Forever memories
To the blue sea
Already forgotten
Turning the key
Again locking it all away
I step back up
To the bar of life
Society and reality join me
Holding out my glass
I say...
Just pour me something stronger than me


From the novel "THERAPY" release May 2013

Saturday, March 2, 2013

Signed Paperbacks For Sale

If you would like a SIGNED paperback of "Love and Truth" please comment on this post and I'll be in contact with you:)
Only $10.00 each!


Monday, February 4, 2013

BIG Giveaway happening now!!! Enter to win!

is now available for purchase in
the Kindle store on Amazon!
You can buy your copy HERE
In celebration of it's release I would like to do a BIG giveaway;)
1st Place winner will win a set of
Pink Dre Beats Solo headphones (199.00 value)
2nd Place winner will win the
from Amazon (69.00 value)
3rd Place winner will win a signed
Love and Truth keychain and any
Amazon eBook of their choice!
All you have to do is leave your review of
Love and Truth on Amazon to enter:) Then post the link to your review here in the comments! I will use to choose the winners in 10 days!!! Good luck and HAPPY READING!

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Therapy Prologue Reveal

Copyright Kathryn Perez (2012)
 For review purposes only. Any other use is a violation of copyright law.
By Kathryn Vance-Perez

The blood runs down my stomach and, I close my eyes letting the pain ooze out with it. This is what I need, what I crave. Otherwise I’m numb, feeling nothing. The pain and depression stays suppressed until I can release it. It gives me a high and a rush that I need every morning before I go to school. I know when I walk through those doors of Edmond High School every day that I have to flip a switch inside and turn it all off just to make it through the day. My mom drinks coffee with a shot of liquor to start her day, I need a razor blade cutting through my flesh.

I shove my notebook into my book bag and mentally prepare for another day of dodging Elizabeth Myers and her posse of mean girls. Some days I wish I could just meet them all somewhere and let them beat the hell out me, spit all of their venom my way, then be done with it. If I knew it would make it stop I would do it in a minute. My senior year of high school had barely begun and I'm already counting down the days for it to end. For the past three years I've endured the wrath of these girls, and it’s imprisoned me. I look forward to some normalcy. It’s been so long since I felt normal that when I finally do feel it, it will probably feel abnormal. I just want it to end. Every day I pray that it will be the day they forget about me. They never do. I do everything I can to keep attention away from myself in order to avoid their radar. It's always pointless because Elizabeth is merciless. I've never understood how a girl that's so beautiful on the outside can be so ugly and evil on the inside. How all of her admirers can't see her for what she really is will forever be a mystery to me. But I know better than anyone how easy it can be to fool people and hide your darkest secrets on the inside. I do it every day.

I head into first period English and sit at the back of the classroom like I always do. I shuffle through my book bag and get my notebook out just as I hear them. The banter is unmistakable.

“Oh my God Hailey, did you see him this weekend? Jace was on fire in the game, although he usually always is. I rewarded him properly afterwards then he was really on fire.”

The posse giggles as Elizabeth goes on about her boyfriend and football quarterback Jace Collins. They were the “it couple” around the school. Jace was Mr. Popular and of course Elizabeth was Ms. Popular. What he saw in her I had now idea, well aside from her long, luxurious blonde hair, perfect skin, perfect body, and ocean-blue eyes. But she radiated “bitch” regardless of her appearance. Elizabeth glances back at me as she takes her seat.

“So Jessica, how much slutting around did you do this weekend? Go to any rainbow parties? How many guys got between your legs in the past two days? Huh?” she smirks.

I dart my eyes down towards my notebook and refuse to engage her.Trying to take up for myself only makes it worse. My long black hair fell down around my face creating a curtain of defenses. I doodle aimlessly on my notebook ignoring all of her comments. Something hit my arm and fell onto my desk, then again and again. I look up and Elizabeth is laughing as Hailey, her partner in crime, balled up another tiny piece of paper. I rolled my eyes at them and looked back down at my notebook shoving the pieces of paper onto the floor.

“Wow Jessica, it must really suck to be you. How do you just sit there and let people treat you so shitty? Are you really that weak, or are you just exhausted from blowing guys all weekend? You do know they only pay you any attention because you put out right? They don’t actually like you.” She scoffs.

“Yeah, I know Elizabeth. Thanks for the memo.” I retort.

She turns around mumbling something about what a skank I am just as Jace walks in and sits down beside her. Hailey flicks another balled up piece of paper at me, and he scrunches up his eyebrows glaring at her. She grins at him and shrugs her shoulders innocently.

“Hailey don’t be such a bitch. Stop picking on people, it’s mean.” He said in an obviously irritated tone.

“Jace Collins, don’t talk to my best friend like that! Hailey is only warding off the infestation of STD’s sitting behind us.” Elizabeth hisses.

He looks back at me and mouths the word sorry. I don’t reply in any way; no expression, no all-knowing look, just nothing. Jace is the epitome of male perfection with his sandy blond hair and crystal clear blue eyes. He always has a little stubble from not shaving and totally has a Paul Walker look going on about himself. He’s toned and muscular but not in a bulky way, and he’s nearly six feet tall. He’s the star of the Edmond football team, on the track team, plays on the baseball team, and is on the male swim team. He’s a super jock and pretty much has a clear-cut future with an athletic scholarship to a major university. The only reason I think he is ever nice to me is because I am on the girls swim team. I steered clear of all team sports for the most part, and I was definitely a loner. I have been competitively swimming for four years now, and it is pretty much the only thing that I really enjoy. School is a means to an end for me, and I can’t wait for it to be over. This place is nothing but a daily prison to me.

After English class we all file out, I walk slowly allowing Elizabeth to exit first and hopefully forget that I am behind her. I make my way to my locker only to find notes taped to it reading SLUT along with other expletives in big bold letters. I rip the papers off quickly just before Elizabeth walks by, shouldering me into the metal lockers.

“Oh excuse me Jessica, I didn’t see you.You should wear a slut warning sign letting the rest of us know you are there!” She laughs as her posse surrounds me.

I look to the floor and shut it all out. This is how I deal with her and all of them. I lockdown, shut it out, and wait for it to be over. She flicks a strand of my hair from my face and starts with the threats.

“We all know you slept with Harrison this weekend, and you know that Hailey has been seeing him for quite a while. Did you really think you could keep that from us? Huh?” She demands. “You better keep your skank-ass away from him, do you understand me Jessica? He doesn’t want you, none of them want you! You are pathetic and disgusting. If you weren’t an easy piece of ass none of them would ever give you the time of day.” She slaps her hand on my locker merely inches from the side of my face and whispers.

“Don’t you ever just think about ending it, spare us all the repulsion of looking at you every day?” She glares at me as my eyes dart back and forth looking for an out. Then I hear his voice and Elizabeth turns away from me in his direction.

“Liz leave her alone already! You’re going to be late for class anyway. Let whatever it is go.” He murmurs, gesturing for her to make her way to second period.

“Remember what I said skank.” She exclaims as she struts off down the hallway.

I look up to see that Jace is still standing there looking at me, hands shoved into his jean pockets. I feel vulnerable and embarrassed. Why is he standing here causing this awkward silent moment to happen? I look away nervously and turn back to my locker opening it quickly.

“Hey Jessica, I’m sorry about Liz and her tribe of brats.” He says as I rustle through my locker stalling so I don’t have to turn around and make eye contact with him.

“Are you ready for swim this year? I hope we kick ass like last year.” He says and I wonder why he’s trying to carry on a casual conversation with me. The bell rings, now I’m definitely late for second period. I spin around facing him.

 “Thanks Jace and yeah I’m ready for swim team.” I mutter. His mouth turns up into a grin and he walks in the opposite direction.

What was that all about? If Elizabeth saw him carrying on a full blown conversation with me she would go ape shit. I was like the plague around here, and the star quarterback talking to me was definitely not a good idea for him or me.

The day moves at an arduous pace, and I continue to avoid Elizabeth for the remainder of the day. I’m not sure what’s worse; this prison of a school and the way I seem to be the butt of everyone’s jokes, or home where I am invisible to everyone. I go to my car and drive home blasting Seether from my speakers. I wonder what kind of day mom will be having today. She’ll either be drunk or be Martha Stewart, it’s a 50/50 chance I will get Martha every day. I stopped caring one way or another a long time ago. When she’s not drunk she tries too hard and it’s smothering. She just overcompensates for her lack of parenting on the days she’s liquored up. I pull in the drive and see her sitting on the porch smoking a cigarette and holding a glass of wine. Drunk day today.

“Hi mom.” I say hurriedly as I walk past her.

“Hi sweetie, how wassss your day.” She slurs.

“Great Mom. It was great!” I say lying straight through my teeth because telling her the truth would be pointless.

I went on inside towards my room. After slamming and locking my door, I reached over and pulled out my hidden box of razors, alcohol swabs, ointment, and bandages. I flipped my iPod docking station on and fell down onto my bed. I pulled up my shirt and unbuttoned my jeans, pulling them down just barely enough to expose the cut from this morning. I had to be really careful to not let them get infected so I cleaned and bandaged them daily. It was a typical routine for me. I knew I would soon have to put on a normal happy face for when Dad came home. Not that he really paid me any attention at all, but I always felt like he had me under a microscope looking for any imperfection or mistake. I did my best to avoid him like everyone else in my life.The weekends were the only time I socialized and that usually always involved guys. I snuck out every weekend at night and cruised the back roads with whatever guy I was seeing at the time, which changed often. I was always too clingy, and they always ran scared after they got what they wanted from me. Sex was a way for me to connect; to feel something. I guess sex equals love for me since I really have no idea what love should really feel like. It’s my version of love and it fills a void so I continue the viscous cycle of sleeping with every guy I go out with.

After cleaning up my cut, I place a bandage on it and button my pants back up. I place the box of items back in my nightstand and pull out my journal. My journal is the only place I can be me. I rarely understand why I feel the way I feel every day, and writing is my only true form of expression without the fear of judgment. If anyone ever read my journal I am positive I would be committed to a crazy house. I pull the cap off of the pen with my teeth and chew on it anxiously as I write.

You only know the mask I wear

Who am I?

Do I even know?

Black…White…no Gray

I either love or I hate

When I want to hold on I claw instead

No sense of purpose

Eyes that are dead

Regret and rejection I swallow down

I just want someone to love me

Emotional pain creeps all around

When someone hurts me it’s hurts forever

Be. Me. For. A. Day.

Let me walk beside you

Let me look over

See the me you see

Then you can walk beside me

See the you that I see

I’ll keep filling the hole in my soul with I O U’s

While you keep filling it with I hate you’s

I shut my journal and text Harrison. We had a good time this past weekend no matter what Elizabeth has to say about it. Having someone makes me feel happy even if it’s always short-lived.

Me: Hey I had fun the other night. You want to hang out this weekend?

He texts right back and I smile inside.

Harrison: Hey babe. Yeah I had a blast with you. You really know how to show a guy a good time! I’m not sure about this weekend. Jace and the guys invited me out. It’s just some sort of guy’s night out thing. But I’ll catch you some other time ;)

My inside smile fades and I instantly feel rejected. I want him to want to be with me, not the guys. Why does this always happen? Why do I need them so badly, want them so badly? It’s always the same. Every guy I date I feel consumed by them with some sort of freakish need. I know it’s not normal but I can’t make it stop. In the end it either pushes them away or causes me to go off on an emotionally charged rant towards them. The result is always me screaming about how much I hate them and how I never want to see them again. I regret it every time, but the cycle is nevertheless on repeat.

This is me, Jessica Alexander. My life. My personal hell.


Copyright Kathryn Perez (2012)
 For review purposes only. Any other use is a violation of copyright law.


Wednesday, January 2, 2013

Taking Chances By Molly McAdams Reviewed

“People fall in and out of love all the time, and sometimes people have numerous loves throughout their lives. But you have two epic loves and no matter who you were with,
I don’t think you’d ever get over or forget the other.”
Molly McAdams, Taking Chances
Eighteen year old Harper has grown up under her career Marine of a father's thumb. Ready to live life her own way and experience things she's only ever heard of from the jarheads in her father's unit; she's on her way to college at San Diego State University.

Thanks to her new roommate, Harper is introduced to a world of parties, gorgeous guys, family and emotions. Some she wasn't expecting yet, and others she never knew she was missing.

She finds herself being torn in two as she quickly falls in love with her boyfriend Brandon, and her roommate's brother Chase. Covered in tattoos, known for fighting in the Underground and ridiculously muscled...they're exactly what she was always warned to stay away from, but just what she needs. Despite their dangerous looks and histories, both adore and would do anything for Harper, including stepping back if it means she's happy.

Her first year away is turning out to be near perfect, but one weekend of giving in to heated passion will change everything.

Due to sexual situations and language, this is Mature YA/New Adult. Recommended for ages 17+
Where to begin...oh where to begin with Ms. Molly McAdam's book, Taking Chances!!! I am seriously in love with this book and these characters so this review may be a little high on the excitement side and it may contain many exclamations marks!!! Just know you've been forewarned!!!
Who do I start with... hunky polite and oh so sweet Brandon or sexy, cocky and oh so bad Chase??? Have you ever eaten a sundae with multiple flavors and one topping be so good then you taste the other and it's equally as good but one is just a little sweeter than the other? That's Chase and Brandon!!! You want to eat both of them right up and you ping pong back and forth between these guys emotionally throughout the entire book.
Chase will piss you off, make you want to drop your panties and break your heart all at the same damn time! Yes, Molly McAdams has created a sexy torturous character in Chase that will work you over real good ladies. He's bad but it's ooooh so good!
Brandon's such a wonderful, strong, big hearted guy who will melt your heart and make you swoon. He's such a gentleman and loves Harper so much. He will give you gooseys with his sweet pillow talk and his even sweeter protective ways. This is the guy you want to bring home to Mama for sure!
Harper...hmmmm. Let me just say it's hard for me to like a cheater in any book. But the author did such a great job developing this character that you love her no matter what and you struggle right along with her as she fights her inner battle of loving two guys at once. Yes, at times I wanted to reach in  my Kindle and ring her neck and slap some sense into her but then there were other times that I just wanted to give her a tub of Ben and Jerry's and cry with her.
Taking Chances took me on a roller coaster ride that turned my insides upside down! I laughed and I cried buckets while reading this book. My favorite books are the ones that can make me do both of those things. This was one of my top favorite reads of 2012, so if you haven't read it yet you should check it out and I promise you it will be one of your favorites of 2013!
You can purchase Taking Chances for only .99 right now >>>HERE
Now>>> go, run fast and read this emotional roller coaster but grab a box of tissues while you're at it because you're going to need them!
You can also purchase Molly's newest book From Ashes HERE. (I loved it too)

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Tidal By Emily Snow Reviewed

"He was wrong. I wasn't beautiful. I was damaged."
~Emily Snow, Tidal
Now that Willow Avery is out of rehab, she's got one chance left to prove herself before she’s officially on every producer’s crap list. At least, that's what her parents and agent are claiming. She doesn't really give a damn if she never makes another movie or not—she just wants to get on with her life, get back to her friends, and find her next escape. But Willow is broke. And whether she likes it or not, acting is the only job
she knows how to do.

When she accepts the lead in a beach drama, Willow finds herself in Hawaii. And in Hawaii, she finds Cooper, the gorgeous surfer hired to train her for her new role. With the bluest eyes she’s ever seen and the sexiest Australian accent she’s ever heard, Cooper’s different from the men she’s used to. He doesn’t want to use her. And he refuses to let her fail. But when an old friend re-enters Willow’s life—a friend whose toxicity she’s been drawn to time and time before and whose presence brings about the painful memories she's tried so hard to suppress—Willow will have to choose between the girl she was and the person she’s becoming. The lifestyle that helps her forget the pain
and the guy she’s falling hard for.

*A New Adult romance that contains some adult content*
Australian, toned and tan...Cooper is the surfer that will threaten to make you swoon. He was witty and strong willed. I loved the funny banter that he ensued with Willow whom he so endearingly called Wills. He wasn't your typical bad boy or your typical good guy. But he could melt my heart at times...
 “I won’t let anything happen to you. Not ever when you are with me”
Snotty, moody and damaged...Willow will piss you off and break you heart all at the same time. You will end up loving her and cheering for her HEA by the end of the book. This moody actress has walked a bumpy road and it's nice to watch her grow as she learns to navigate a smoother path.
If you enjoy hot beach boys and a little angst then you will enjoy Tidal. Go >>> HERE and buy your copy now!